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I heard a girlish giggle and then Rachael said, "Just a sec. I needmore lube."I then heard the unmistakable sound of sex. The slapping of hips onbuttocks. The slurping of an oiled passage being worked. Brett'sgrunts. Rachael's sighs. Then joint gasps, then squeals. Moregiggles. Attempts to stay quiet. The rustle of Kleenex. My friendRiley was gay.I said it to him flatly in the morning, but he denied it: "I'm not gay,"he said. "While I am here I want to have fun - girl-type fun. Brettcan get me to the track and all the events, including the parties. Helikes me. He just likes to do me sometimes. But only as Rachael."At that point, my brother Ben walked up, just picking up the tail of theconversation."I can't understand how you can be with that guy," said Ben.Rachael spun around at looked at Ben accusingly: "Would you have sexwith me then?" It was more an accusation than a question. In thatmoment Rachael looked ferocious and as sexy as hell."I would love to have sex with. I’d thought and thought about my dilemma while we finished with milking and it only served to make me more frightened and depressed plus I was really angry. My penis wouldn’t stop dribbling stuff and the shock of what had happened to me was numbing, totally. I didn’t know what to think except I’d been betrayed, forsaken, flash backs to my youth re igniting hatred. Shit! What a mess, a giant drooling penis I did not wish for in the beginning!Yet for some strange reason I found I didn’t care about my nudity much anymore, really. I guess I felt like a cow, but cows probably had more self esteem than I. And almost everybody on the dairy was now used to seeing me with nothing on in the most compromising of acts having strange things done to me again and again even in front of strangers.There were no private places for me to hide and nobody asked permission to use me. Even though I was angry at Lilly for letting me down, in fact threatening and really hurting me, I was somehow pondering a.
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